goodbye…my edward.

finally, naconvince ko na rin sarili ko na di talaga kami pwede ni “edward”. ang drama no? that’s life. may pagkagaga talaga ako pagdating sa love. hha. hayyyy. i got a 35/100 sa test namen sa geosol kanina. yuck kadiri. its bagsak. kaya dapat seryosohin ko na talaga. pramis na to! hha. no more time for edward na.

well, back to my edward, nagpaalam na siya sakin, it was really painful pero my tears are already tired of flowing, my heart is exhausted, and i am already hurting to the extreme. oo ganun talaga ka’OA yung feeling. kaya i want to make paalam na to him, kasi wala ng patutunguhan to. kasi, i know that he is happy even without me. kasi i want di ko na kaya.

(kahit wag niyo ng basahin to. kadramahan ko lang naman to e)

i’d still want to share my last happy and heartbreaking memories of him: it was 2:00am of November 30 when he called me. at first he was just making kwento of how he’s life has been. and then he asked me if I and “jacob” were fine. i told him that we are together again. then he started confessing lots of things, like he should have courted me after my first break-up with “jacob”. but then “jacob” warned him not to court me or he’ll do something..well u know. then my tears started to flow. at the back of my mind, masakit yung ginawa ni “jacob”. sana masaya ako ngayon with “edward”. pero hindi e. ih sayang talaga yun. then he started making kwento of the girl he is liking. syempre selos to the max ang lola mo. pero di ko naman pinahalata yun. ako pa, plastic ako e. hha. tapos, tinanong niya if i love him daw, syempre sabi ko oo, then he asked me kung gusto ko na ba raw mafall-out-of-love sakanya. sabi ko oo. then he told me that he will not make pakita to me na. iiwasan na daw niya ako. para maforget ko na siya. o diba. ang sakit! then he sings to me the song “fallin” by janno gibbs. he said, that’s he’s song for me daw. hha. so yun. iyak iyak nanaman. basta, ang dami pa nyang songs na kinanta for me. ako naman, cry baby parin. pwede na nga akong magartista e. and then when i said that im sleepy na, he did not let me end the call, sabi niya we’ll just let the call end by itself. kaya ayun tapos may goodnight kiss pa akong natanggap. hha. kilig yet so masakit. cos i know that, that will be the last time that he’ll do that for me.

oh yun. last post ko narin pala to for him. kaya isasagad ko na. hha.

this song, i dedicate for him.

I havent stopped loving you. at wala rin akong balak na tigilin yun. narealize ko lang na, i cant win this battle without you with me. diba nga, love is like a battlefield? i havent stopped wanting you. alam kong ikaw at ikaw lang ang gugustuhin at nanaisin kong makasama forevermore. i havent stopped hoping that you’ll feel the same way too. solb na ko kung kahit sa pangarap ko lang na mahal mo parin ako. i havent stopped dreaming. sa panaginip ko nalang nga ikaw napapasakin, titigilan ko pa ba? i havent stopped wishing. sana pwede pa. sana someday. sana ikaw nalang. i havent stopped thinking that you’re thinking of me too. minsan ba kahit isang segundo lang sa isang araw mo, naalala mo pa ba ako? i havent stopped fallin, fallin inlove with you. ’cause even a thought of you can make me fall deeper in to you.

and lastly, here is a poem i made myself for him.

Half Of My Heart

Half of my heart is in me, cos the other half, i gave it to you.

Half of  my heart is still beating, while the other half has stopped.

Half of my heart is lonely, cos the other half is with you.

Half of my heart is with me, while the other half, i gave it to you.

I saw your heart, it’s only half. I search mine, it’s still half.

Then I saw the other half of your heart with the girl you love, and the other half of my heart you left it behind.

Now, the half of my heart that is with me stops beating. still bleeding.

And the other half is dying. Tell me, how would i still be alive?

 

KAKI. bye-bye na. it was really nice to meet you.