3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th simbang gabi

grabeee. tagal ko ng d nagpopost. ok ok. hayaan nyo akong ikwento ang mga ngyari saken this past few days. yeahbah!

uhmmm simulan natin sa 3rd ng simbang gabi… well as usual, nagsimba ako. if i am not mistaken ang gospel ay tungkol kay papa joseph at kay mama mary. yun yung nalamang nyang buntis si mama mary. pero dahil napakacool ni papa joseph, pinagisipan niyang mabuti ang nararapat niyang gawin. at tada! tinanggap niya si mama mary kahit ano pa siya. sabi nung pari, we should learn how to love not only the good things but also the bad things about the people we choose to love. yun lang ang naremember ko. hha.

 MOVING ON!

4th day. ay nakuuu. nakalimutan ko yung gospel jan. pano ba naman kasama ko si dyani at si rosi nun. natural nagdadaldalan kami. uhmm. tungkol dun sa future meeting ni dyani kay ninoy. waha. hayyyyyyy…

tpos, nagtest kami sa algebra.. ok lang naman. siguro naman napasa ko yun kahit papano. hay.. sana talaga. waha. uhmmm. yun!

tpos, test sa genchem! sisiw!!! naka 98/100 ako! 98 mistakes!!!! wahaha. lets forget about it. hha.

5th day. last day ng 1st year second sem this year. huh? ah basta. last day sa school before ng christmas break. ok naman. may gift akong natanggap. nyahahaha. yung gospel pala about dun sa visitation ni mama mary dun sa pinsan nyang si elizabeth. nakalimutan ko na yung sermon! hha.

6th day. kmukha nung gospel nung 5th day. if i am not mistaken dito umeksena si bibe. hha. well, kung hindi kasing nakakatawa ng pari niyo yung pari dito, d niyo talaga malalaman yung bibe. hha.

7th day. ay hindi ako nakapagsimba sa HRPC. sayanag. pero may 2nd option pa naman ako, edi magsimba dun sa chapel dito sa barangay namen. nyaha. i will not really consider it as the seventh mass. kasi nung ngsimba ako ng 8th day sa HRPC, infairness, same pari and homily yung nangyari. kaya parang i watched a movie for the second time around. waha. yung homily about dun sa makiling, yung makinis na parte niya, sabi, we were created by the likeness of God kaya dapat we act as God. pero xempre that’s impossible. pero kay God nothing is impossible, kaya we should act good parin. hha. gulo ko! tapos yung rough na part, lahat daw ng tao ikikiskis tau, pagchichismisan, ipupull down, aalilain, pero in the end we end up makinis. we end up strong and beautiful. hha. un na un!

8th day. dats 24. kala ko yung 10 pm na mass na yun. d pa pala. iba pa pala yun. hha. kaya ayun. di ko nakumpleto yung simbang gabi. hha. di rin ako masyadong nakapagfocus sa mass. super open kasi yung area. tapos sa likod pa kami. tapos ang iingay pa nung mga jeep. hayyyy. hha. yun lang.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS! dami kong nakain! harhar.

26, kahapon, gling ako kina starr. reunion ng family nila. grabeh ang daming pips. hha. shytype nga ako eh. nkakahiya. haha!

at ngayon 27. ngparebond ako!!!!!!!!! hha. bongga! labit!

yun na muna. di ko na eedit to ah. pagod pa ko. hehe.

2nd day simbang gabi. :)

grabehh! ang hirap talagang bumangon ng ng alas tres ng umaga! sarap matulog eh. malamig pa. pero worth it naman. kasi pagnagsimba ka na, matututo ka ng mga bagong kaalaman tungkol sa buhay buhay.

halimbawa nalamang ay ang homily ng isa sa mga paborito kong pari. ( nakalimutan ko na ang kanyang pangalan) hha. sabi niya, lahat tayo ay sawa. lahat tayo ay makasalanan. kaya dapat wag lang ang maganda sa isang tao ang dapat gustuhin nating tignan. dapat marunong din tayong tumingin sa mga panget nilang ugali at bigyan natin siloa ng pagkakataon para magbago. sabi pa sa homilya, wag daw natin hayaan ang sarili natin na mabuhay sa nakaraan. lalo na kung masakit yun. kasi lalo lang natin nasasaktan ang sarili natin at lalo lang natin sinasaktan din ang mga nagmamahal sa atin.

wow. ang homily parang ligaw na bala! kahit di para sayo, natatamaan ka! hha. sobrang sapul ako jan. kaya sobrang promise ko kay Bro na lagi kong aalalahanin ang mga sinabi niya saakin.

what am i talking about?!

i miss him so much. my heart longs for him. my body misses him. i cannot stop thinking about him. his every smile, laugh, facial expressions, his eyes, his hands, i cannot see them anymore.

yeah, we never ended up together. you know that. because fate doesnt want. but why? oh please. why? but there is one thing fate cannot control. that is when i am with him, in my dreams.

in my dreams, i am his and he is mine. he holds my hands with gentleness and kisses me with tenderness. he hugs me and comforts me when evrything is wrong. then everything seems to be right again. in my dreams, i hear the words “iloveyou” from him, its like the most beautiful music and the sweetest tune you’ll ever hear. he will always say that i am beautiful even when i am at my ugliest. i will not get jealous of the girls going with him, because i know, i am the only girl in his world. in my dreams, he is always with me, because for him, i am his heaven here on earth. i’l be his sweetest drug, that he can never resist, and when im gone, he’ll do anything to bring me back. in my dreams we love each other that words cannot describe, poets cannot put on a poem, musicians cannot compose. in my dreams, he dances me even themusic has already ended. he will sing me a lullaby so that i will have the sweetest dreams ever. in my dreams, we share our dreams and picture ourselves together forever. i am the happiest girl ever, cause he is mine. he’ll laugh at my jokes comforts me in sorrow, shelter me with his love, clothe me his protection, feed me with his hugs and kisses and he’l make his heart a home for me. in my dreams he tells me that he wants me to be his wife and the mother of his children. we grow old together and die with our arms around each other.

see how it hurts? in my dreams i am his. in reality, i am not. in my dreams, he holds and kisses me. but in reality, he never does. then you’ll find yourself wishing, that you’l die soon. its better to sleep forever knowing that you’ll have him in your dreams than to live a life without him at all.

Simbang gabi — 1st day

yeah. 1 down, 8 to go. sana makompleto ko yung simbang gabi. then i’l make a wish… hmm.. ano kaya? aba xempre yung pinakahihiling ko, MAGING ENGINEER after 5 years and a half! hha! pero sabi nung pare, depende daw sayo kung matutupad ung wish mo. may point naman siya. whats the sense of wishing and hoping and praying if you are not doing anything. diba diba? hha! ah basta, magiging engineer kami ng mga friends ko after 5 years and a half!

goodbye…my edward.

finally, naconvince ko na rin sarili ko na di talaga kami pwede ni “edward”. ang drama no? that’s life. may pagkagaga talaga ako pagdating sa love. hha. hayyyy. i got a 35/100 sa test namen sa geosol kanina. yuck kadiri. its bagsak. kaya dapat seryosohin ko na talaga. pramis na to! hha. no more time for edward na.

well, back to my edward, nagpaalam na siya sakin, it was really painful pero my tears are already tired of flowing, my heart is exhausted, and i am already hurting to the extreme. oo ganun talaga ka’OA yung feeling. kaya i want to make paalam na to him, kasi wala ng patutunguhan to. kasi, i know that he is happy even without me. kasi i want di ko na kaya.

(kahit wag niyo ng basahin to. kadramahan ko lang naman to e)

i’d still want to share my last happy and heartbreaking memories of him: it was 2:00am of November 30 when he called me. at first he was just making kwento of how he’s life has been. and then he asked me if I and “jacob” were fine. i told him that we are together again. then he started confessing lots of things, like he should have courted me after my first break-up with “jacob”. but then “jacob” warned him not to court me or he’ll do something..well u know. then my tears started to flow. at the back of my mind, masakit yung ginawa ni “jacob”. sana masaya ako ngayon with “edward”. pero hindi e. ih sayang talaga yun. then he started making kwento of the girl he is liking. syempre selos to the max ang lola mo. pero di ko naman pinahalata yun. ako pa, plastic ako e. hha. tapos, tinanong niya if i love him daw, syempre sabi ko oo, then he asked me kung gusto ko na ba raw mafall-out-of-love sakanya. sabi ko oo. then he told me that he will not make pakita to me na. iiwasan na daw niya ako. para maforget ko na siya. o diba. ang sakit! then he sings to me the song “fallin” by janno gibbs. he said, that’s he’s song for me daw. hha. so yun. iyak iyak nanaman. basta, ang dami pa nyang songs na kinanta for me. ako naman, cry baby parin. pwede na nga akong magartista e. and then when i said that im sleepy na, he did not let me end the call, sabi niya we’ll just let the call end by itself. kaya ayun tapos may goodnight kiss pa akong natanggap. hha. kilig yet so masakit. cos i know that, that will be the last time that he’ll do that for me.

oh yun. last post ko narin pala to for him. kaya isasagad ko na. hha.

this song, i dedicate for him.

I havent stopped loving you. at wala rin akong balak na tigilin yun. narealize ko lang na, i cant win this battle without you with me. diba nga, love is like a battlefield? i havent stopped wanting you. alam kong ikaw at ikaw lang ang gugustuhin at nanaisin kong makasama forevermore. i havent stopped hoping that you’ll feel the same way too. solb na ko kung kahit sa pangarap ko lang na mahal mo parin ako. i havent stopped dreaming. sa panaginip ko nalang nga ikaw napapasakin, titigilan ko pa ba? i havent stopped wishing. sana pwede pa. sana someday. sana ikaw nalang. i havent stopped thinking that you’re thinking of me too. minsan ba kahit isang segundo lang sa isang araw mo, naalala mo pa ba ako? i havent stopped fallin, fallin inlove with you. ’cause even a thought of you can make me fall deeper in to you.

and lastly, here is a poem i made myself for him.

Half Of My Heart

Half of my heart is in me, cos the other half, i gave it to you.

Half of  my heart is still beating, while the other half has stopped.

Half of my heart is lonely, cos the other half is with you.

Half of my heart is with me, while the other half, i gave it to you.

I saw your heart, it’s only half. I search mine, it’s still half.

Then I saw the other half of your heart with the girl you love, and the other half of my heart you left it behind.

Now, the half of my heart that is with me stops beating. still bleeding.

And the other half is dying. Tell me, how would i still be alive?

 

KAKI. bye-bye na. it was really nice to meet you.

Pilipinas, napano ka na?

kapapanuod ko palang nung documentary about the maguindanao massacre and untill this moment i am still in a dismay condition. who would not be? people now a days do not care about morality–doing what is good and avoiding evil.

57 people were dead. pinagbabaril sila. linibing. may nakita pang mga bangkay ng mga kababaihan na bukas ang pants. 57 families are now in pain. others lost their breadwinners. their loving mother. their sister. their love ones. who would have thought that 57 people were killed just because they want to file the certificate of candidacy of someone they support. 30 of them are journalist who only wants to cover the news but ends up being covered by other journalist. and others, nakasabay lang sa daan, pero napatay parin.

paano mo lalabanan ang isang tao o pamilya na napakamakapangyarihan? paano mo hihingan ng hustisya ang mga taong napatay sa gobyernong sila ang kinakampihan? napakasakit isipin na kung sino pa ang inaasahan mong magpapaunlad ng ating kabuhayan ay sila pa ang maglulugmok satin sa kahirapan. kung sino pa ang dapat ay mahingan nating tulong ay sila pa mismo ang iyong makakalaban. ang hirap tumira sa isang bansa na hindi mo alam ang iyong kinabukasan. marahil ngayon ay buhay ka, pero pano kung bukas matulad ka sa mga minalas na makuhanan ng buhay ng dahil lamang sa pagkamakasarili ng ibang tao?

kilala pa kaya nila si God? may konsenya pa kaya sila? minumulto na kaya sila ng mga pinatay nila? binabagabag na kaya sila ng konsenya nila dahil sa ginawa nila? o marahil ngayon ay manhid na sila?

kung sino man na mapalad na maupo sa kahit anong posisyon sa gobyerno, sana mabubuti ang hangarin nila sa bayan. wag sana nilang unahin ang pansarili nilang kapakanan. sana kahit gaano kahirap, iaahon nila ang nalunod nating Pilipinas. sana hindi sila malula sa kapangyarihan. sana hindi sila kainin ng salapi. sana matulungan nila ang mga higit na nangangailangan. sana balang araw, wala ng tao sa ‘pinas ang gutom, hindi nagaral, at mahirap pa sa daga. sana maayos nila kung ano man ang problema ng mga terorista sa kanila. sana wala ng mangyaring patayan. sana hindi niya iisipin na kumuha sa kaban ng bayan ng kahit isang sentimo lang.

puro SANA. parang sa panaginip lang pwedeng mangyari. may magaayos pa kaya sa sira-sira at marungis nating bayan???

http://news.search.yahoo.com/search/news?p=Maguindanao+Massacre&ei=UTF-8&rd=r2&fr=&c=images