NEW MOON

at last! i have seen the movie na. and like others said, its nakakabitin! hha. pero infairness kay Jacob, he’s sooo damn HOT! like sizzling hot! lol. hindi ko naman ikukwento yung story ng newmoon eh. lahat na ata alam yun. so what i want to talk about is love. more specifically when you are torn between 2 lovers. grabe! mahirap talaga.

the first guy would be Jacob-like. siya yung nagmahal ng sobra pero its unreturned. siya yung gagawin ang lahat for the one he love kahit na alam niyang mababa yung chance na mamahalin din siya. pero minsan, yung mga kagaya ni jacob, sila yung nagreremain as friends lang. wala eh. they dont wanna lose the girl they love right? so even though it hurts like hell, he will still stay, kahit na “friends” lang.

the second is the Edward-like guy. siya yung nagmamahal at minamahal din na sobra pero things are not right for them. inshort “bawal na pag-ibig”. those guys who are like him siguro sila yung laban ng laban kahit walang patutunguhan. sila yung tipo ng tao na icocontinue yung love nila kahit sa huli, eh di talaga pwede.

ikaw? sino pipiliin mo? yung mga taong jacob o edward? hard no? kahit anong pagmamahal ang gawin mo kasi to an edward, it will end all the same–FAILURE. and kahit anong gawin mo you cant love a jacob because youre inlove with an edward. hayyy

do you still remember my not a happy ending story? the guy there, is my edward. no matter how we like each other, if fate doesn’t like us , it will never be the two of us.

not a happy ending

there is this guy that i liked ever since i started my college days. i mean he really has what it takes to be my man. (wow) but things arent simple for us. at first he is like “ilag” to me because his attention is with someone else then suddenly when he found out that that someone has also someone else, there he lets his door open for someone else to love. (daming someone else!) then the moment i’ve been waiting for came, he told me that he also likes me, and i told him the same, but fate isnt really good for us. a guy, beforehand, came up to me and says he likes me. being this lonely-and-longing-for-some-love-and-care girl, i grabbed the chance to have someone i will love and will love me the same way. though it hurts at first, knowing that i cant have the person i really like and will never like me at all, it is a good thing that this other guy makes me forget those pain even for a while.

but as i was saying, when that “moment” arrived, it makes all things complicated. even for my feelings. i broke up with the other guy telling him that im not ready, when the truth is, i am expecting him to court me.  but being that nicest person, he told me that he doesnt like to do that because the other guy is his friend. and it really sucked and hurted me.

beacause of this guy i learned to sacrifice, even sacrificing the one that i am sure will love me no matter what. i learned that when people are not meant for you, no matter how hard you try they would never ever be meant for you. and no matter how painful it is to me, atleast for once in my life, someone like him liked me. though we never had a happy ending, atleast even for a while, i can sy that he has been mine.

if its not yours, it will never be yours no matter how much you are obsessed with it. but if in case its for you, it will always be for you no matter how often you ignore it.

No Ordinary Love

di ba sabi nila, pagmahal mo isang tao, mamahalin mo siya kahit ano pa siya? bakit di ko magawa yun? i am the type of person kasi whose hobby is to daydream. siguro kakadaydream ko, im failing to see that my prince isnt perfect. sa kakapangarap ko sa perfect prince ko, nakakalimutan ko na no matter how beautiful a dream is, it will always remain as a dream that will never happen in my reality.

like for example, your love, parang you want to always see him at his best, tapos pag yung worst na niya pinaguusapan, tagilid ka na. yeah im like that. di naman siguro masama na hilingin na sana mabago mo ung isang tao di ba? na sana wag na siyang mayabang, wag nalang siyang masyadong bilib sa sarili at mga kakayahan niya. sana kahit minsan lang iniisip niya kung ano iisipin ko pag ginagawa niya mga yun. gustong-gusto ko siyang mahalin ng kahit ano pa itsura niya, ugali niya, mga pananaw niya, na kahit siya na ang pinakaweird na taong nakilala ko, okay lang. pero hindi e. di ko magawa. kasi nga may dark side siya. na di ko talaga matanggap.

tinanong ako ng friend ko kanina, bakit daw di kami nagsasama sa school kahit pagbreak time. napaisip ako. siguro kasi di sanay yung sistema ko na kasama siya. yung tipong we are classmates pero, we never talk to each other inside the class. maguusap na nga lang kami pero parang hindi kami. for all of this time na naging parte siya ng buhay ko, bilang lang yung mga araw na magkasama kami. so, who would blame me kung sabihin kong mas masaya talaga ako pag kasama ko mga friends ko?

this really not my ordinary love.worst pa nga to e. dati kasi sa mga past ko, close naman kami. nasasabi ko naman gusto ko sakanila, and sila yung magiinitiate para makasama ako. siguro nasanay akong ganun. kaya ganun. ewan ko. magulo.and to think that im comparing my pasts with him, its really unfair for him. bad.

LIBRARY :)

if you are looking for me. go to the LIBRARY. this place is almost like heaven kasi eh. malamig. napakacozy ng ambiance and most of all di ganun kaingay. di mo maririnig ang mga halkhakan ng mga estudyanteng tumatawid sa daan. mga jeep na kanina pa bumubusina. mga traffic enforcer na pito ng pito. at syempre pa malalayo ka sa polusyon ng hangin. (natural, closed building eh) pero ang pinakamaganda sa lahat, seat near the window, and you’ll see the beauty of what God has given us. yung tipong, kung marunong ka lang magdrawing idodraw mo kung ano nakikita mo. hayyyy.

i like staying at the library kasi dito ko nakukuha yung peace of mind ko. wala akong iisipin kundi yung mga moments na gusto ko. here in the library i found my life. brand new life. na im not really the type of person na gusto ung maiingay na music. (that is what i used to believe) mas masarap palang pakinggan yung mga whispers ng ibang tao, kausap o di mo man kausap. in short, mga mellow na music. here in the library nakakapagfocus ako. pag may naisip ako, yun lang talaga ang iisipin ko. and higit sa lahat, here in the library i found my sanctuary. kahit iwanan ka ng friends mo, the library wont let you feel that you’re alone.

 maybe you are wondering what library im into? its the HOLY ANGEL UNIVERSITY LIBRARY. a place like home.